American House Wife 

I’m home with Emily today as I have been for several weeks now, a blessing that my amazing girlfriend has afforded us. She works so hard and does so much for Our family, she takes care of us in a multitude of ways. I want to take care of her & make her happy. One way I try do that is keeping the house tidy so she has a comfortable place to be after work (I know, I sound like a 1950s home maker. Shut it) Now, I’m not the most domestic person. But… it turns out that if properly motivated, a “sexually liberated woman with a reputation for being amorous” CAN be turned into a housewife. 😻😽   So I take up this endeavor daily, doing chores and picking up, dusting, vacuuming… things I normally deplore. I do these things happily with gratitude in my heart bc I love my partner & our family & I want to match her effort. 

  Moving another adult, dog & a toddler 

Into an apartment that’s been a bachelor pad for 12 years requires all manner of deep cleaning, scrubbing, sorting and throwing away. It gets very messy, cleaning. I’m standing knee deep in debris in our family room now as I calculate the amount of time I have before my darling walks through the front door & shouts “Honey I’m home!” . Looking around I realize there’s no way I’ll have this house in the shape I want it by the time Amie’s back . I began composing a text to her; “Babe the house is a disaster bc I’m cleaning it”. That doesn’t sound logical. It’s the truth, though. I am trying to make our space habitable and warm and comfortable for us all. Doing that has been, as I said, messy. It’s been uncomfortable. Rummaging through boxes and bags and drawer; deciding what is worth keeping and what needs to be thrown away; the allergy outbursts from kicked up dust and dirt that has been settled in cracks and crevices for over a decade; The bickering over what should go where, what is actually useful and what is just taking up space… It’s all been a lot. It’s necessary though. This messiness that we are existing in while working to make our home comfortable, welcoming and safe for each of us. 

I couldn’t help but smile at the metaphor. We are a mess right now, America. A fucking mess. The dust and dirt we thought was gone had only settled quietly in the cracks. Our home, our space, our kingdom has become so polluted we barely recognize what is actually useful ,what parts of our past should remain with us and which parts should be trashed. We all have different styles of cleaning, clearing out and making room. It’s going to be dirty and uncomfortable for a while. Our knee jerk reaction is to throw our hands up at the disaster around us. To frustratingly lament on the good ole days when it was just us here and we could sit comfortably in our own junk. This process of making America habitable for all is going to be filthy, painful, and infuriating. We will uncover things that both disgust and fascinate us. Making America a welcome warm home for each of us again is going to take a long time. We will have to make interesting compromises and pair together absurd combinations just to make sure we all fit. But It WILL BE WORTH IT TO DO THIS RIGHT. This mess is kicking up old hurts and finding all the skeletons in all the closets. It’s showing who thinks their “things” are THE MOST important and who’s willing to fight the hardest to keep the things they need. We will walk through this transition period cringing but we will do so bc we know , we KNOW that this is not the condition our home will be in forever. We know we must work diligently and tirelessly to ensure that the way we ‘clean house’ allows everyone to be left with a happy, healthy space. ❤

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6 thoughts on “American House Wife 

  1. This seems so hypocritical. I remember going to your house on Waterlilly, where 2 people worked tirelessly to provide for you and your daughter from before the day she was born, and the appreciation was NO help keeping the house clean. I know this to be a fact, because I had to clean the toilet before I could even use it; it was the toilet upstairs that was your bathroom, Angela. And that is not all, the bedrooms upstairs where you lived, were tossed with all your clothes and CRAP….everywhere. I never could understand how a person living for FREE could be SO ungrateful. I took a stranger into my house for 6 months, a beautiful Afican woman with her 18 month old daughter. She kept her bathroom immaculate, a dirty diaper went immediately outside to the trash, she helped me keep up with sweeping and mopping floors weekly….that was appreciation to me. You took advantage of my sister because she was your mother. I used to think you were a good mother. I see the true you now. You do what you do for YOU, not Emily, or anyone else. You have not put your child first! I guess you are getting good freebies there in CA. You think you are living free, not having to work. The pay will come; pay day always comes, Angela. Unfortunately, us older people know what you THINK you know. You will laugh at this like I did when I was your age. I just hate that you, in your smugness and language, with all your F words( that you think carry so much power), will one day have your eyes opened. Furthermore, the most fantastic person in the universe, my mother, asked me to get you Unfriended from her Facebook. She can’t stand what you did, what you do, and how you communicate…like white trash. You make her blood pressure soar; she is disgusted with you, to say it mildly. A person, as you know her, to never say an unkind word about anyone! She told me about a dream she had about you, very disturbing. I am angry with you, also, for what you have put my sister through. Now, be a big girl and don’t get all your “friends” and BRADY to tell you that I’m the crazy one. Face yourself, by yourself! (Everyone knows that Brady has no brain or sense left after his drug use, I’ve even heard you admit that)

    Sorry, but I had to laugh at this “blog”, knowing you like I do. How you are such a good little housewife…vomit! This is pure vomit! You are just somebody’s BITCH, or back in my day we called them what they were, WHORE. You are not a good mother when you are just a WHORE. Alan had that for a mother, and he grew up knowing that was not good. He figured it out as a young boy; Emily will, ALSO.

    Do not answer this just let it simmer! Face yourself, by yourself! Don’t call Mimi, unless you want your head bit off, chewed up, and spit into hell.

    Aunt Terry

    • If any of that were my truth I would face it as I have every other dirty disgusting thing about myself. But it’s not. It’s not the truth. I am so sorry that I’ve hurt mimi, we spoke a couple of wks ago and I was so happy to talk with her. My Mimi loves me and she may not like everything i do or say but she would never talk to me the way you have. I’m happy now Terry. I have a happy life that I am still working to ameliorate, as I have continuously done for the last 5 years in particular. My child is loved cared for and attended to . As am I . And that is just as important. Why would I sit and suffer in a life that wasn’t even what was best for my child? Do not presume to love her or care for her more than I do. You don’t. No one does. So no one else gets a say In what’s best for her. I know what is good for my daughter. I know what is good for me now after years of therapy and self help and self betterment. All I want is to live a happy life filled with love. I think you and I have different definitions of what love is and how it behaves and the fact that everyone deserves to have love in their lives. I am sorry to know that someone I loved very much has such disdain such hateful disdain for me ,especially based on wrong information . But I thank you for being honest and open and communicating your feelings to me. Please don’t comment on my things anymore, I won’t post them and they only upset us both. Thank you .

  2. Please don’t stop writing Angela. Obviously you can’t always please everyone. Yes, you’re crass and inappropriate at times, but it’s a generational thing… we’re all like that. That’s what makes you so engaging and relatable to the rest of us white trash whores. Your words have helped so many women realize what abuse looks like and empowered them to change their situations. It’s hard for me to imagine that anyone wouldn’t be immensely proud of you for that.

    • Thank you. I love you. I won’t stop writing, I’ll stop letting ppl decide who I am and then telling me and everyone else their version of me. Growing up my mom used to say “It’s none of my business what anyone else thinks of me”. That advice has served me well. I don’t expect my wonderful Godly 84 yr old grandmother to appreciate my style of writing. That is okay with me. My grandmother loves me, even when she’s upset with me. But younger generations and relatives have no place to comment on my “language” or my family life. Never was it such a problem until I decided to pursue my own happiness. When it turned out that what made me happy was another woman and a home Free of the harshness and judgment I lived with elsewhere, THEN my words became an issue. In Texas where my beliefs were constantly invalidated it was fine for me to have them, bc then I could be mocked and shamed and put in my place. But now that I’m around an entire state of ppl who share my views and I am becoming stronger and more active and outspoken , also bad. Smh. I hate how hurt and angry that commenter is. She must be in so much pain and I wish I could hug her and talk with her and minister to her in the way that is conducive to my values and that it would be accepted. But it won’t. So I have lost another person from my life because I chose to make myself happy and keep my daughter safe. That hurts me.

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