The Queen of Rubbish

Ooh. No.

There I go, There I go.

Headfirst diving,

Underground,

Falling down

this rabbit hole.

The ease with which

it carries me…

I know this flow, I know this flow

This tumbling crash

This wrecking ball

It out lasts all,  It out lasts all.

Ooh. No.

Shards of glass, Shards of glass

Cut my soul, cause this ailing

cast my role,

calm my flailing

As I go floating

As I go failing

Back to the past

Back to the mask 

No turning back,  No turning back

And in this land

No Wonder’s left

A game of Chance?

Not this roulette

A queen So Mad

So red

So hated

Her heart’s been long

De-cap-ti-vated

And when she yells

Down from her throne

“Heads will Roll!”

She means her own.

A bed of roses

Crimson Stained

Their purity obscured

Their beauty maimed

And what remains, ‘Sno longer white

I share their shame, I know their plight.

I drink fast

but I eat slow

Devour , destroy

and won’t let go

I get so small

Run for the door,

Mayhem’s calling

Evermore.

Ooh. No.

Down this road, Down this road

Tho falling stopped

Discent did not

I’ve now made

This hole my home.

-ANF

2015-09-30 07.00.06

7 thoughts on “The Queen of Rubbish

  1. Love this poem about the chaos and self-destructiveness of addiction its fragmentary nature really conveys the fragmented nature of the addict’s mind. Also love your illustration. I was addicted to cocaine, alcohol, bulimia, OCD, shopping and more and my mind was like a roomful of confetti I could barely focus on a 2 minute conversation. Now I’m just coming up to 11 years clean and all my addictions and mental health problems are in recovery my business is healthy I’ve written two novels and almost completed a memoir through my posts on bloginhotpants.com on WordPress. I’ve never been so happy in my life!

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